I am amazed at the simplicity of the techniques described in Carnegie’s book. It is equally surprising that some people don’t use them. The way I have been raised may have something to do with it, but it really isn’t hard to be friendly. This is why I am going to have a bit of difficulty in answering the question presented to me this week: “What would be the most difficult technique in this book so far for you to learn how to do well?”
Here’s what I will do. I am going to go over all the principles I have learned about so far in order and judge their individual difficulty. Then, in the end, I will draw up my conclusion. So here they are:
1: Don’t criticize. This wouldn’t be too hard for me to learn. I’ve done it many times in my life, so I am already well acquainted with this.
2: Give honest and sincere appreciation. Now, this one I do very often, so no work is needed here.
3: Arouse an eager want. This would take a lot of work for me. I would need to practice this one, and a good helping of trial and error.
4: Become genuinely interested. Ok, this one isn’t too hard. I can be interested in people. Now, if they like something I’m not into at all, it may be tough.
5: Remember a person’s name. Remembering a name is easy enough. I guess if I were remembering dozens of names it might get a bit difficult.
6: Be a good listener. Believe me, this is one of my skills.
7: Talk in terms of other people’s interests. Here’s a tough one. First I need to know their interests, and then learn about them.
8: Make the other person feel important, sincerely. I can do this. Maybe I need to work on sincerity, but I can.
9: Avoid arguments. In my house, this happens often. I need to work on this.
10: Never say,“You’re wrong”. Here’s one I can do. I can stay quiet when it comes to that.
11: If you are wrong, admit it. Believe it or not, this isn’t too hard for me.
12: Begin in a friendly way. This one will take a little bit of practice for me. It’s not often I don’t do this, but I will need to work on how I do it.
13: Get the other person saying “yes” immediately. The way he described this one, it should be simple for me.
14: Let the other person do the talking. This is kinda similar to the ‘be a good listener’ one, so I can.
15: Let the other person feel an idea is theirs. This shouldn’t be too difficult, so only mild work is needed.
16: Try to see things from the other’s point ofview. This one however will need a bit of work. This is really a skill in need of mastering.
17: Be sympathetic with people’s ideas. Even if it is bad? Now that I must work on.
18: Appeal to the noble motives. Saying that things can improve his situation on a personal or moral level is within my reach.
19: Dramatize ideas. Like TV comercials? I guess I can, though some practice must take place.
20: challenge people. I don’t often do, but it is possible for me.
Out of all of these techniques, I would have to say that arguing needs the most work. Why? Because I live with quite a few siblings, so arguments are something I live with. I wish it weren’t the case, but the truth is, we all need to work on this one.